“The hardest challenge is to be yourself in a world where everyone is trying to make you be somebody else.” - E.E. Cummings

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” - Ephesians 2:10

We cannot enter the month of February without seeing all the hearts, flowers, and pink fluffy things covering all the stores. It’s like a pink storm that overtakes every business and store. These colors, decorations, yummy treats, and precious gifts are all a reflection of the love that abounds around us. Within our families, friendships, and lives, we can find love (and hopefully find it in abundance!). Which is why Valentine’s Day, and all that comes with it, is so popular. We love LOVE! We want to feel love in our life, not even just romantic love. But also friendship, loyalty, generosity, community, affection, adoration, and all the various aspects of love. So for this month, I wanted to ponder, dwell and share about love!

In the first week’s blog, I chatted about God’s love, because that is where love originates and flows into our lives. The next blogs were about nurturing familial love, and building a community. 

We love because he first loved us. - 1 John 4:19

For the last blog of February, I want to write about self-love and acceptance! This can be an extremely tricky subject. We are so often our worst critics. We worry that having too much self-love will make us proud. We struggle with knowing how to accept ourselves. And yet, Jesus clearly calls us to love others, AS we love ourselves. Which means that we cannot love others, unless we are loving ourselves well. So let’s dive into ways we can grow in our self-love and acceptance! 

Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ - Matthew 22:37-39

I AM LOVED

“If only you could sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.” - Fred Rogers

I have been a dancer since I was about 8 years old. When I was young, I took classes, then I was part of a youth ballet company. For a very short precious time, I was a professional dancer. Now, I am a dance teacher and I have been for the better part of the last 15 years. If you have ever taken a dance class you know, the whole class is done in front of a mirror. Which is great for working on technique and building good skills, but can be very difficult for those of us who struggle with body image. I can trace a lot of my difficulty in loving myself or accepting who I am to those days in front of a mirror… wondering why I didn’t look like those who were chosen for bigger roles, or who seemed to do better than I did. Many of you may be nodding along, perhaps you have experienced something similar. A time when it seemed like everything about you is wrong. It has taken me many years, lots of reflection, prayer, and some counseling to understand a very basic truth. God loves me. So I can love me, too. I do not have to be perfect, I do not have to change the way I look, I do not have to live up to a standard that only exists in my brain. Instead I can rest in that love and acceptance that God has already given me. 

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well”. - Psalm 139:13-14

If I could sit down with you over a cup of coffee, I would share how important self-love is, the way it can impact how we love others. You are loved by God! Which means that the criticism or judgement that you lay on yourself, is not only unnecessary but also damaging to your understanding of how God has created you. So this month, I encourage you to set aside time to actually work toward a place where you can trust His love and let it help you to love yourself the way He created you.  Here are a few ideas for ways to help yourself embrace that place of love and acceptance: 

• See a counselor or therapist. I have worked alongside mental health professionals for a long time. And I definitely believe in the power of therapy! If you struggle with liking yourself, or believing that you are worthy of love. Please consider going to see a counselor!

• Make yourself a Joy List. This was a trend on social media just a little while ago, and I love it! Create a list in a notebook, or on your phone. Write out very specific things that bring you joy. Maybe something like “having a cup of coffee, slowly and quietly in the morning” or “going on a nature walk to enjoy the sunshine”. The more specific the better! 

• Actually do the things on your joy list! Find time every day or every week to do things that bring you joy. No matter how small! Finding joy every day can be such a powerful way to add more love into your life. 

• Do something you have always wanted to do! Is there something that you wanted to try or learn to do when you were a kid? Is there a place you have always wanted to visit? Make space and time to do it! 

• Create a list of things you like about yourself. Start with 5 or push yourself to write 20. Be specific about why you like it. It could be something like “I like the way I can always come up with a pun for any moment, because it makes me laugh.”

• Create a special playlist of music that you enjoy. Focus on songs that bring you peace and fill you with joy. Play it when you need a pick-me-up!

QUESTIONS AND REFLECTIONS 

One of my favorite things to do is to ponder, reflect and journal, it gives me time to think through all the various aspects of life. May you find time in your day or your week, to sit and reflect. You can use these questions as a starting place for your reflection, or just an addition to your normal journal rhythm.

1. What is currently standing in your way to self-love and acceptance?

2. When have you been able to feel self-love and acceptance?

3. What makes you most grateful about yourself? How can you focus on those things?

4. Journal about any goals or ideas you have for yourself. 

5. What’s one thing from this blog that you want to use or put into action? 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” - Dr. Seuss

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.” - Ephesians 2:4-5